They really are. I don't know how people survive without them... I heard over in Europe they all go home and take an hour nap from 12 to 2 and then go back to work... if that rumor is true, then good gracious, I'm moving ASAP.
So yesterday was pretty uneventful... I managed to survive through my anatomy lab exam and I believe I did great!! I'm stoked to find out my grade... I really hope that everything went well and I got an A. I desperately need it in that class. Let's see.
Oh wait, I just realized I blogged yesterday from sbux while I was studying, hahaha. Let me cut to the chase then.
I went to study with my boyfriends sister at the house, of which that exam I took today and I think I got an A there as well (hooray for end of semester being around the corner!) and my mom texted me not to come home late. Now, my relationship with my mom has never been good... we've always fought and had our (very) large differences, and seeing eye to eye was always a negotiation rather than a given. For the past month, I've been withstanding her crap (for lack of a better word) about my relationship, about how I handle my money, and about how she has to pay for Nursing school.
This is what pisses me off: my parents do not appreciate the daughter that they have.
Let me start by the first thing she's been bitching: 1. My relationship. She has no business getting into it. I think that I have taken her advice, acknowledged her position, and given her all the respect in the world when it comes to what she thinks. She is my mother, so I should be listening to her because she has more experience (she was divorced before she married my dad) and because... well, she's my mom. But I am also my own person and human being, and my life is not lived by anyone else. However much influence she does and should have over me, nobody lives my life but me.
That means I make my own decisions and I decide what gets done in my life, and my decisions are MINE and only mine. So I told her, very respectfully, that because i've been so concerned with pleasing her and my family, things got rocky in my relationship and I am no longer going to do that. I realized that my relationship became a negotiation between how much time we were spending with my family versus his family, and we're not even married!! Those are the kinds of things you decide when you get married and visit your parents every other weekend, we're still dating!! Fine, we've been together almost 3 years and things are more serious, but a relationship is between TWO PEOPLE, not the entire family. I got tired of trying to please her and told her that from now on, when he comes over, he comes over, and when I go over, I go over. But more than anything, we're going to focus on EACH OTHER, the way it should be. Until I have a ring on my finger and say "I do", I'm not going to be pressuring myself and stressing myself out about who's house I'm at and how much time have I spent with which family because if not they're going to be mad... no no no. I ended up (and he ended up) losing track of what was most important: our love. So we're focusing on that and getting back to being in love and very happy with each other. We'll worry about things as they come. We don't live in the past or the future, we live in the present, and should live life so.
On the second thing that she's been bitching about (my money), I told her the same thing... I work for it, therefore I will decide how it will get used. If I want to blow it all on candy bars, thats my problem. I'll deal with my consequences later when I get fat and don't have anything to be going out. But no, she insists that I should be saving my money and doing this with it and why doesn't my boyfriend pay for everything and pick me up and all this shit... leave me alone! I hate people who try to control my life... I really do. I got many of her traits when I was younger, and then I grew up, realized I was using the exact traits I hated about her on my friends and loved ones and changed my attitude. Now everything is dandy with myself, but she continues to be who she is, and I realize that won't change much because she's older and thats her personality... unless she truly wanted to, I'm stuck dealing with her that way forever, and that's fine. I'm her daughter, I should learn how to handle situations her way without getting her upset, but I'm also not going to break my back doing them. So I told her to just stop lecturing me and let me live, and when consequences come, I'll learn my lesson, IF IT COMES TO THAT. I'm pretty smart about what I do with my money, and I enjoy everything I do with it, so I don't have a problem with myself just yet. The day I do, I will more than gladly go up to her and apologize and tell her she was right, but until now, she's been wrong and I'm going to continue living my life the way I see fit.
Which leads me to infamous number three... how she complains that she has to pay for nursing school. Oh my God, this is the one that just blows me up most. I busted my ass in high school and got scholarships not only from the government, from Burger King, and from FIU, but i also wake my ass up at 5am to go work for the extra money I use to drive around and spend on my own. In other words, THEY DON'T PAY A THING. I barely eat at home, so they can't say they feed me. The only thing they do pay is my car insurance and the rent on the house, which is cheap even for them... My parents love to complain that they don't have enough money, yet they have two properties, 2 cars, just bought a harley davidson bike, a whole bunch of gear for it (of which it was DEFINITELY not cheap) and other things that are very unncessary. So I told them that they need to help pay for nursing school.
Keyword: HELP.
I cannot work during nursing school because I'll be doing clinicals and going to school... if I worked, there'd be no time for sleep, so I'm going to depend on them. BUT MY SCHOLARSHIP CONTINUES TO COVER MOST OF MY COSTS. The only thing they'll be paying is gas, a monthly stipend to go out (because I'll go crazy if I just study... and of which I've offered to pay them back!) and any extra fees from school that don't end up being covered (there's something about an extra hundred dollars for certain courses that are taught in the hospital). That's a grand total of less than $5000 dollars over the period of a year and a half... $5000 dollars that they HAVE. i've seen my dad's checking account, and it is NOT empty... yet they continue to bitch about how they have to pay when they haven't paid a single thing since I was in 11th grade....
"Oh, but you can't be going out when you're in nursing school... we don't have that kind of money".
"Oh, but you should work lots this summer so you can save up money to have during nursing school and pay for gas".
I asked for a study room in my sisters room (since she doesn't live here) and got "oh, but we don't have enough money...". I asked for it for my birthday present (that's pretty sad, asking for a study room as an early birthday present).. "I don't know, we don't have money.... if we sell the bed yes".
...Yet they turn right around that weekend and treat themselves to brand new leather jackets for their custom made bike they just ordered.
Is anyone getting my picture here?
SELFISH.
So I told her to just forget it, that if she doesn't want to be a parent to me, I'll take out a loan, move out of the house, and find my own way in life and pay things back once I'm a nurse. That it will suck? Yes, most definitely. I'll be in debt when I get married (that's the worst) and I'll have to adhere to a strict payment plan for a good 2 years, but I can do it. Nothing in life is permanent, things can get done and you can move forward. It's just sad that your parents, who are supposed to support you even during high school (I worked during high school while having AP credits and SAT and ACT, that should tell you something about my determination) can't even bother to pay for nursing school and support you for a year when you haven't asked them for anything else in life.
Anyway, I should get going. I'm getting upset about everything I've talked about, and I don't plan on living an upset day. My mood will turn righ around as soon as I finish this 2000 word essay sometime by this weekend though :) OH! And since today is April Fool's, how about I called my mom-in-law and told her I was pregnant, and she FLIPPED. Hhahahahaha... soo funny. I was with my boyfriends sister at the time, we came up with the idea. Super funny. Poor lady almost had a heart attack. I love her.
Well, have a good day wherever you are, and as always God Bless!
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