Housewife Material

Check out the new layout of my room!!

And of course, my cat being absolutely lazy while watching me do all the work, lol...

I decided to clean up today after work, which is odd because usually I get home from work and am way too tired to do anything. But today was an exception, and I'm quite happy with it :) I deep cleaned everything... I won't horror you with the atrocities I found (dust bunnies galore) since I hadn't thoroughly cleaned everything in... well, let's just say about 4-5 years. I know, I know... but then again, I was a teenager in high school with no intention of cleaning ANYTHING and dirtying everything, so go figure :)

Well, that was the end result. I like how it came out... I like that my bed is next to my window now. The sun comes in and illuminates my bed (I was feeling trapped the way my room was before, and so dark since I chose red and gold as my colors in my darkened days when I made my room). I can also open my window and just gaze out from my second story at the world below me... or rather, the tons of trees in my backyard that my grandmother tends to. My cat seems to love it as well, since he likes to be by the window and look out (he's a house cat, so I'm sure he dreams a lot about being outside).

Now that I'm done though, I feel like cooking up a nice lunch or dinner... I think that in another life, I must have been a housewife. Honestly. I enjoy cleaning and laundry and cooking (most of all!). It doesn't bother me to pick up after someone else, especially those I love, and organize their things. I organize my boyfriends room every time I go over (he often has clothes laying around from the washer that he hasn't bothered to put away) and it doesn't phase me... in fact, sometimes I look forward to it. Cleaning is my one escape from when I'm mad. When I'm upset, I clean.

No, seriously.

You have to try it. Clean when you're upset and you'll see how quickly the anger fades away into happiness... I think it must have to do with manual labor and the good feeling it brings you. They say the happiest people work with their hands, so maybe that's where it stems from.

So yes, I'd like to go find something to cook and to serve to my boyfriend so he can eat, but he has school after work and then is going to go celebrate with his best friend for graduating this semester... unfortunately he still has some time ahead of him, but as long as he perseveres and passes his classes and gets his degree, I'll be happy. I mean, he's already a manager and making some good money, but a degree is essential, especially if he wants to move up in ranks like he says he does.

So I can't cook for him, and I'm not going to cook only for myself, and my family certainly doesn't want me to do anything with them. I got into a huge fight with them over the weekend and basically slept at my boyfriends (well, in his bed while he slept in his sisters room who was away) so I wouldn't have to be home. I'm tired of being treated like a little girl when I am an adult already... I'm tired of being told who can or cannot be my friends, getting bitched at because I spend too much time or too little time (yes, TOO LITTLE) with my boyfriend, that I'm not making good enough grades if it's not an A... Really, i'm just sick of it all. And to top it off, I just want my own place. I think I was born to be independent... I've never been much of daddy's little girl status... I got a job when I was still in high school, taking AP credits, examining through the SAT, ACT, applying to colleges and the everyday stress of life, and I enjoyed it. Making my own money is one of the best things, because then I could go out without having to ask my parents, and I just hate depending on people. So, to say the least, I want to move out, but no money... I start nursing school in August and can't work, and without a steady, very good salary, I'm fucked.

There's always the option of moving in with my boyfriend, but 1. I don't want to put him in that situation where he basically takes care of me, and 2. I would really like to wait until marriage to be living together. So... either I'm stuck here for another year and a half, or I take out a humongous loan and get myself into a lot of debt to have my own apartment... of which, the latter bothers me because it means I'll already be in debt when I get married, and I really don't want that, although I know I could pay it off in no time... I'd really like to start my marriage pretty rich before the ordeal of kids comes and I'm robbed of all possible allowance to myself, lol.

So yep, those are the thoughts running through my head. I wish I could've been decorating my own place today, but instead I have to make do with changing my current living situation and picturing the day when I get to move into my own place (or with my then husband) in about two years or so.

Have a good day wherever you are!