Learning Again

Ahh...

I haven't blogged in forever.

I'm still slightly upset about many things going on in my life, and a lot of questions to be answered, but I feel like it's time to stop looking for answers and just let time dictate where things will go. In fact, I've done this before but I had forgotten my lesson and now I am re-learning it all over again... I think that sometimes people DO need to re-learn lessons, because time, although helpful in promoting something beautiful, can also make you forget about important things.

Soooo

My verdict from all this is that I will let time go by and just enjoy it for now. If things work out, they work out. If they don't, then it wasn't meant to be. But I feel in my heart of hearts that they are, and if they are, they will come to be. I feel like I'm always racing towards an answer, always searching, never resting. Perhaps it is time to stop worrying so much and enjoy what I have, because you never know when it will be gone. It's time to enjoy the questions being asked instead of running around like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to find the answer, and why the answer is what it is, and why it can't be something else... So many endless possibilities, I think that's what I drive myself crazy over.

All of this came about from a quote of course, and I'd like to share it with you guys as my parting thought. Even though I will choose to have hope and will probably still be anxious about many things going on, I will also take a step back, breathe, and wait. Patience is a virtue, right?


"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. An the point is to live everything. Live the questions" - Rainer Maria Rike

-.-

Life is crap right now.

That's all I have to say.

Except for my little Max <3

I'll blog at a better time when I'm not pessimistic.

Max :)

Well, here are a few pictures of the new addition to the family!! I think he's more about me than anyone else... he already follows me around, but he's so cute I just can't help but take a gazillion photos of him :)

It is official!!

We have an addition to the family!!

The little boogar is coming home tomorrow... I'm picking him up after work at the shelter because they had to neuter him... poor thing. He'll be drugged tomorrow. But yes, we've adopted a labrador retriever / american bulldog mixed puppy, 2 months of age, chocolate, black and white color. Too early to tell his temperament, but he seems very sweet. I had to go out and buy a whole bunch of things today at Walmart... food, toys, bedding, floor diapers... so many things, it's like having a baby! And I know I'll be getting up in the middle of the night to take him out to pee and poop (because although he's the family dog, nobody will get up to go take him out) so he'll be my responsibility...

I have a feeling this dog is going to get attached to me, but we'll see. I'm excited also for my current dog Dale, who will have a companion. He's always loved to play but has been an only dog for years. He gets excited when my sister brings over her dog Lucy, a little beagle, but she never stays for long and they both get kind of horny LOL. So this will be a male companion for him, to show him the ropes of the house I hope, lol.

Anywho, I think I should go running... I've been getting wonderful compliments on how I've slimmed down and toned up, so I'm very proud of myself... it's the motivation to keep going that is hard to maintain!! But I know that I should go running today since I skipped out yesterday. I'll probably blog with lots of pictures tomorrow when I get home from picking up the baby.

Still no idea what we're going to name him... debating through Jupiter, Max or my mom wants Choco so my grandma can pronounce it, LOL. So we'll see.

<3

Vent

Blah.

Once again I am upset. Why? I'm not sure. I think it has more to do with my period this month than anything, but jesus, I have been having arguments in my head for the past couple of days and I'm tired of hearing myself. I'm looking for acknowledgement and for pride to be put aside and a sincere apology made, but I think that it's too much to ask. And it sucks, because the person that I'm looking to for this apology has always complained about their family being very prideful and never being able to admit their wrongs, yet they are the exact same way and I feel so frustrated.

I cried the other night like an idiot because of how I've been feeling, and when I approached this person about it, they didn't pay attention to me, were on their phone, and just basically felt like I was being sidelined, on top of ignored. I mean, how do you go from being one way to completely the opposite in one week? Something just isn't right.

Maybe I'm worrying too much, maybe I'm stupid, and maybe I just miss this person. But whatever it is, I want it fixed, and I want it fixed soon.

Exhausted

That pretty much sums up my post.

I'm working 30+ hours a week all summer, and somehow, through my monthly friend and a VERY tiring 6 hour shift at work, I managed to keep my promise to myself and go running, and surprise surprise! I managed to run almost half of it instead of walking more than 3/4 of it! My stamina is improving and I'm loving it. It feels like I'm finally jumping over that huge beginner hurdle and well on my way to becoming a real runner.

:)

I'm hoping that by next week or the week after, I can run a mile straight and keep building up from there. The problem is the obnoxious heat outside... 95 degrees in Miami right now... I'm stocking up on water before my run (about a bottle's worth half an hour before) and drink about a bottle during my run, and a bottle around an hour after I've finished. So I'm keeping myself hydrated and stretching... i hope to be able to run one of those 5k marathons by the end of the summer!

And MAJOR improvements on my body! I lost 2 pounds last week, hooray!! I'm hoping for another 2-3 pounds and then just to maintain my weight there.

Well, toodles! I hope you're experiencing as much success in your endeavors as I am. Remember that perseverance is one of the most important things in achieving your goals... doesn't matter how long it takes, just that you achieve it :)

No Addition...

Well, I didn't get to adopt Nala. There was a hold before me and they went ahead and adopted her.

I can't say that I'm too upset because she went to a home, but I don't know if it's a good home and I really wanted her. But I suppose that God has his reasons and perhaps I wasn't ready to have a puppy, or it wasn't the right time... Maybe I should wait until I move in with my boyfriend / get married... who knows. We'll see, I suppose.

Nothing else has been new lately... I've been working a lot. 30+ hours this week, which is more than I've ever done in my life, LOL. It hasn't been bad since I don't have school, and I've been keeping up with my running goals so my energy level has gone up despite working a lot. I'll often work an 8 hour shift from early in the morning, come home and go running for an hour, so at least I'm improving in my stamina. :)

I miss my boyfriend... we got into a little fight in the middle of the week and he's still upset about it all, which upsets me because I apologized right away for being in the wrong and he's still all iffy with me. I miss his romanticness, his being there 24/7 and us hanging out, playing with eachother and having little fights... I know it's also because he's working a lot. He supposedly opened this morning and is closing as well... I don't know how that happens, but I know he's got to be extremely tired.

I went to his dads birthday dinner last night and had a great time with his family... albeit I got a little drunk with white wine, lol. But it was a very good time together, and he smiled and we laughed about some things despite a rocky start to the night (he wasn't very responsive towards me when I got there) and I ended up passing out in bed with him at night, waking up at 3am and driving home... it sucks because I really wanted to just stay there, but I couldn't.

Ah... sometimes I'm so confused.

But whatever.. nursing school starts soon and hopefully afterwards we'll be moving in the direction of being together... maybe during nursing school, towards the end, we can move in together... who knows.

Anyway, I'm going to get back to my movie. I'll update whenever I can.

<3

New Addition

Hello everyone!

So nothing much has been new over the past few days. It's boring. My life sucks. End of story. Have a nice day.

Or not, lol!!

:)

I followed up on my goal to train for a 5k run and am proud of myself to have follow through the regimen this week. I only have one more day of the "training" session before the training week is over for me and I can just chill and walk and relax the rest of the days until next week. I bought myself my new running shoes also known as the Nike Lunarglide... EXCELLENT shoe if you're looking for one to jog/run in without any foot or back problems, ladies. I love it, I feel like I'm walking on air. I also got myself an iPod touch... I had been debating between the nano and the touch (there was only a 20 dollar difference), and decided to go for the bigger ticket item only because I plan on having it long term and because I convinced my parents to help me pay it off as a reward for getting into nursing school :) Go me and my abilities to persuade. I should be a lawyer.

On other news, I will be a proud mommy tomorrow hopefully! No, I'm not pregnant, I'm adopting a puppy!! Her name will be Nala (I think, I haven't fully decided yet) and I pick her up tomorrow after work with my boyfriend. She's a Mastiff mix, one of my favorite breeds besides the Saint Bernard... I love big dogs, the bigger the better!! She's just 3 months old but she'll be huge, as you can tell from her face and how wide set her jaw is.



She is soooo cute and so unbelievable sweet... I know I have tons of learning to do, especially on how to train her... and a never ending amount of patience that I must learn to tap into, but it will be worth it. My parents gave me a slightly hard time about bringing her, but I told them I'm moving out as soon as I finish nursing school (me and my boyfriend are planning on getting married around that time), so she'll be out of the house soon enough and wont be bothering them at all. Besides, she'll be sleeping with me and going with me on weekend trips. :)

Anyway, let me get going. I got back from my run and am sitting on my bed being lazy when I should be showering and organizing my room and washing my sheets.

Byeee :)

I have a goal!

And it is to run a 5k by the end of the summer!

I've been walking/jogging for the last 2 weeks since school let out, and it's been a pleasing activity. I usually go with my neighbor and good friend, which makes it fun, but sometimes I do end up going alone and I quite enjoy it, especially when I have my iPod with me. Unfortunately, it broke (or rather, got too wet from sweat) on one of my runs... what can you expect, Miami weather is hot!... and now won't play... or rather, it plays but it wont stop, and none of the keys work so I simply have to let it die on its own, recharge it and then shuffle the songs and listen to the tracks as they go along without any input on what songs I'm listening to.. how sad, I don't get to control my own music on my run.

SO.

On Wednesday, I have an appointment (or just a walk in really) with the Nike store in the nearby mall to buy myself a pair of Lunarglides, which are also Nike+ active... which means that when I buy my new iPod, I'm going to sync it along with my shoes so that it tracks my progress and allows me to keep track of everything I'm doing besides the planned program I am doing for myself (9 week program that gradually builds you up to running 3 miles in about 20 minutes). I'm very excited and can't wait to start. :) I want my boyfriend to join me on this exciting adventure, but I highly doubt he'll want to. Plus the fact that he's asthmatic won't help in the whole running thing, especially when the air in Miami is so humid and basically gobbles you up and suffocates you when you're a normal person... so I can only imagine what it's like for him to feel like that.

However, he did tell me he would go ahead and do a race with me (although I don't think he'll actually race), so at least he'll join me in the effort and help raise money for some good cause.

Other than that, not much new with my life. Lots of working (and I mean LOTS) and organizing and cleaning. I still haven't gotten around toe scrapbooking or baking something else new besides the mexican lasagna I made last week, but all in due time. I'll make something amazing again sometime by the end of this week so that people can enjoy my fine cooking.

:)

Yep, I'm awesome.

Well, let me get to my clothing which is in the washer... gotta wear it for my 8 hour shift tomorrow.

<3