Been a While

Ahh... it's been some time since I've written on here. Not like anybody cares, I don't have any followers... I think I have 1, maybe? And they probably subscribe to plenty as it is already, so, as always, this post is more for me than for anyone else.

How can I explain that I am tired of the same crap happening in my life?

I'm tired of being lied to, I'm tired of being taken for granted, I'm tired of being disrespected, I'm tired of my job...

I need such a huge change of scenery... sometimes I wonder if transferring far away to another school is a good idea, despite the debt I'll get in. I know that it's only running away from my problems, but really... I think it would be a relief for me. I think maybe I'll do a foreign exchange program, where I can get away for a semester and not have to deal with the lies, deceit and just plain bullshit, and I'll come back much revived, and maybe even inspired to move on with my life?

Honestly, I don't know how I swallow so much bullshit. I sit back and think to myself that sometimes I'm a bit too soft.... I get angry, then I think of God's forgiveness, try to implement that in myself and to be a better person, and to either forgive the opposing party, or, if it's the case that I'm correct and they're wrong (but they won't budge) to set my pride aside and to apologize for something that I haven't even done.

I really wish sometimes that people would put down THEIR pride and apologize for the mistakes that they have made. I'm so tired of putting myself under others, that I think years of repressed anger are starting to come out, and it's not pretty. Whether it's finally snapping back at my mother after she's nagged me for the hundredth time about something and setting her in her place (and OF COURSE, later apologizing for it), or snapping at my boyfriend for anger management that he can't seem to hold down, or customers at my job for being such idiots that they can't open their own damn packets of splenda (I'm not your bitch, just serving your coffee),....

I think i need my vacation.

Asap.

Pronto.

NOW.